TITLE: When the Last Petal Falls - Part Two: Letting Go

AUTHOR: Court

RATING: PG-13

SUMMARY: Letting go of the past...letting go in the future...letting go in hopes of returning.

PREVIOUSLY: SEE PART ONE

NOTE 1: Takes place in season 3, following the episode "State of Mind" (a.k.a. Part two of the Evelen Mayfield case and the famous mistletoe kiss between Lucy and Bobby); scenes from the show of which I honestly believe everyone will be able to point out are included occasionally, as well as references to previous exchanges between the characters (for example, the scene with Helen and Lindsay where she says she's thinking about leaving the firm is referred to, but the scene is not written in and, unlike the others, has been altered a bit do to the new developments that didn't occur on the show (no "you're in love with him", etc.)).

NOTE 2:  In one episode, it says that Bobby graduated from BU, and in another it says Suffolk; whether he went to one, the other or both - I don't know, but for THIS story - its BU.

THANKS TO: Jewel, Kiosha, Dottie, Rebecca, Lindsey, Stacy, Leanne, Flora, Magy, Faith, Tiffany, Barbara, Rosanna, Briony, Lydia, Claire, Lily, Kelly, Lindsay, Edene and everyone else that sent feedback the first time around!! Hope you guys enjoy this part - sorry for the delay!!

FEEDBACK: Ya know, it's that thing that encourages (or sometimes discourages) the author to write more. Kind of like the 'bend and snap' it "WORKS EVERY TIME!!!"  <blessed_23_83@yahoo.com>

SONG CREDITS: "Strawberry Wine" by Deana Carter; Album: Did I Shave My Legs for This?; 1995; written by Matraca Berg and Gary Harrison; In reading the lyrics of the song, keep in mind that it was chosen as a song about first love, so, this doesn't mean that the words illustrate exactly what took place.

DISCLAIMER: Carter, Eric and Chip are all mine, but the rest belong to Mr. Michelle Phieffer.

Lindsay tugs on the plush, silken covers of her bed, biting down on her quivering bottom lip as an uninvited chill invades the walls of her room. Still half asleep, her mind urges her body to fall back into the unconscious world of dreams. Just when she feels as if ready to jump back into the clouds, a loud bang sends her flying unsteadily upwards with a gasp.

Awake and alert, she looks around for the source of the disruption. Tired eyes focus on the flapping ivory canopy top above, immediately shooting to the open window. Sighing in irritation, Lindsay pushes the bedding aside and steps onto the carpet, quietly moving forward, allowing the patch of moonlight to guide her through the darkness. But as her arm reaches out to snap it shut, a hand grabs onto hers.

Terrified, Lindsay can feel the scream riddling inside her throat, but the combination of a face, a voice and another hand covering her mouth, silences her.

"Linds, it's okay - it's just me."

Though calmed by the fact that the 'intruder' was a familiar face and not some violent stranger, Lindsay can't help but give the idiot a shove. "Jesus, Carter! You scared me half to death!"

"Sorry," he laughs, making her smile in spite of herself.

"What are you doing here at -" She pauses, grasping his wrist, then glances at his watch. "Two fourteen in the morning?!?" She cries, giving his shoulders another firm push.

"Careful baby, one more time and I just might be on the ground. It's a long way down..."

"Well, you just better be glad you didn't accidentally stumble upon my parents' window. Falling would be the least of your worries if my father caught you here."

"Hey, I thought your dad liked me."

"He does, but he won't anymore if he finds you paying me an early morning visit at my bedroom window. So, you'd better make it quick."

"You're cute when you're nervous, you know that?" Carter grins, pulling himself up more.

"You're impossible" Lindsay sighs, shaking her head.

With eyes twinkling mischievously, Carter continues his tease. "You think your old man would mind if I serenaded you? I've been working on something and I'd really like to -"

"Carter!!" Lindsay looks back at her door, then back at Carter as she knows he is merely getting started. To him, the look on her face as he begins singing is priceless. "SHHHH!!!" Bubbly giggles are the release of her emotions - a wild mix of fear, anxiety, happiness and adoration. Gripping onto the window sill, he leans forward and kisses her. "Carter..." she laughs in between kisses. "You have to go..."

"Why?"

"Why?!" Lindsay squeaks in surprise. "Do I really need to answer that?" One more kiss and she pulls away, cupping his cheek in the palm of her hand. "Just tell me why you came..."

Smiling, Carter raises one hand to her long, flowing locks, tucking a tiny hidden flower of yellow behind her ear. "I had a dream about you...and...I couldn't go back to sleep...so...I came to see you..." Tracing his thumb over her cheek, he whispers. "I needed to see you..."

With a kiss, Lindsay coos. "I'm glad you came..."

"Come out with me..." Carter softly pleads. "Let's go for a walk..."

"A walk?! It's -"

Fingers land on her lips and she stops. "I know what time it is...but I want to take you somewhere..."

"You're insane!" Lindsay sniggers.

"And it's ALL your fault!" Carter makes a mad dash for her as his hands grab her face for a kiss. A crunch is heard and there is no stopping him as he slips, loosing complete hold on what's keeping him steady. "Oh, no..." he mutters as he falls, hitting the ground with a thud.

"Oh my God! Carter!" Bending down, she hangs outside of the window, looking down at him in horror. "Carter! Are you okay?! Oh God!"

Lindsay sighs in relief as he gets up with a groan, brushing himself off. "I'm okay!"

"Are you -" She stops, gasping as the sound of footsteps beat against the wooden panels of the hallway outside her door. "Oh God! Carter! Hide! RUN! GO! NOW!!!"

"What's wrong?!"

"Just do it!!"

Shutting her window, Lindsay bounces back into bed, pulling the covers up. Just as she has rested her head on the stack of pillows, the door opens, revealing...

"ERIC?!?" Lindsay jumps up to confront her slightly younger brother. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?"

"Checking on you! I heard you screaming!"

"Well, I'm FINE! So you can GO now!"

"FINE!!"

"FINE!!" Slamming the door, Lindsay is immediately accosted by yet another visitor. "WHAT?!" She shouts, thinking it was him again, but quickly backing down as she sees its her father on the other side of the door. "Dad! I -"

"Lindsay, what's going on? It's three o' clock in the morning, young lady."

"I uh - had a nightmare and um...Eric just - surprised me, that's all. I must have screamed -" She pauses, giving him a small smile. "Nevermind...everything's fine. I'm sorry we woke you."

"Okay.." he gives her a strange look. Pointing at her he asks, "What's that in your hair?"

"What?" Realization dawns on her, and her hand flies to her ear. "OH...nothing, it's...just a flower...nite," she chimes, sweetly.

Too tired to argue, Mr. Dole can only smile. "Night, honey."

Lindsay's smile turns into a loud sigh as the door is shut. Momentarily, she forgets about Carter, but as his face appears outside her window again, she runs to him. "Are you crazy?!"

"What? Is your dad in there?"

"Noooooo but he WAS! Along with nearly every other member of my family."

"But they're gone, right?"

"Yeah," she nods.

"Good. Let's go then."

"I don't know..."

"Come on, Linds..."

Lindsay stares straight ahead, listening to the two voices...both seemingly the same, but one much closer than the other.

"Linds...Linds?"

"Huh?" Lindsay nearly jumps out of her skin as the chanting of her name startles her back to the present time. Shaking her head from the fog, she smiles at the older Carter sitting across the dining table from her.

"Are you alright?" He asks tenderly, moving his hand over hers.

"Yeah, yeah..." When she can see that he isn't convinced, she grins, ready to explain. "You know that thing that happens sometimes when someone says or does something that triggers a memory?"

"Déjà vu?"

"Right," Lindsay nods. "I don't even know what it was exactly, but - I was just thinking about that night you came to window and fell and we woke up everyone in the house..." They laugh. "And then we went to that spot by the lake and talked and -"

"Made out..." He says in a low voice, recalling the night fondly.

She blushes. "Yeah....and fell asleep..."

"Yeah, much to your trouble."

"Oh, God, I'll never forget the look on my parents' face when I came through the kitchen door at eight thirty in the morning!"

"How DID you manage to get out of that one, again?" Carter laughs.

"I told them that I was sleep walking..." Lindsay giggles.

"And they BOUGHT it?!" Carter roars.

"Yeah...quite a few times, too, if I remember correctly..."

They are quiet for a moment as they look back on the nights spent at 'their place' - foregoing the 'window meeting' all but the first time. Hours spent in each other's arms...at first consisting of long talks and kisses...eventually including the passion of lovemaking. It was love for them...first love. Neither thought it would ever end...but it did.

Lindsay recalls those first few months after he'd left...how hard they'd been. So many tears...eventually becoming a burning substance to her skin, an ache that swelled within every crevice of her body. In the passing years, she naively thought that the feeling had vanished from her heart and soul - she was wrong. Looking into his eyes now, she can see the truth isn't hers alone: he wants to give her the world.

"Dance with me..."


~*~
He was working through college on my grandpa's farm
I was thirstin' for knowledge
And he had a car
Yeah, I was caught somewhere between a woman and a child
When one restless summer we found love growing wild
On the banks of the river on a well beaten path
It's funny how those memories they last
 Like strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon...saw everything
My first taste of love...oh bittersweet
Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine
~*~


Carter leads them to the dance floor, wrapping his arms around her waist as hers go around his neck. The loose skirt of her short, sleeveless black dress swishes slightly against her legs as they move to the soft music. Like pieces to a puzzle, they seemed to fit perfectly together still. The ten years apart isn't a threat it seems, as in the short time they've been back in each other's company, the questions have been answered - the gaps have been filled...and the past was no longer an issue. It was as if they'd said goodbye just yesterday.


~*~
I still remember when thirty was old
And my biggest fear was September when he had to go
A few cards and letters and one long distance call
We drifted away like the leaves in the Fall
But year after year I come back to this place
Just to remember the taste
Of strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon...saw everything
My first taste of love...oh bittersweet
Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine
~*~


"I'm sorry..." Carter breathes against her hair, as Lindsay rests her head to his chest.

"For what?" Lindsay mutters, not bothering to look up.

"Letting you go..."


~*~
The fields have grown over now
Years since they've seen the plow
There's nothing time hasn't touched
Is it really him or the loss of my innocence
I've been missing so much...yeah
~*~


The strong, yet gentle hands that moments before caressed her back were now acting as a force to draw her face to his. I've been thinking about it so much...you don't know how many times..." Carter pauses, shaking his head. "I feel so lucky that you're here with me right now...I thought you hated me..."

"No..." Lindsay sighs. "Maybe...maybe at one time I thought I did...because I thought that would somehow make it easier...but it didn't."

"Lindsay...I'd give anything to take it back...you know that, right?"

"No, no...don't say that. If you hadn't gone you might not be a doctor right now - I might not be a lawyer." Smiling thoughtfully, she continues. "I wouldn't trade my life for anything...I know that now. I'm very happy...happier now that I have you back in my life..."


~*~
Like strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon...saw everything
My first taste of love...oh bittersweet
Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine
~*~
~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~


The icy breeze tickles Lindsay's nose as she glides at ease along side Carter, the steel blades marking the path which they have taken across the rink. A flush of pink glazes her face - the strikingly cold temperature shaking her to the core. It doesn't last long, though, as a faint touch from the precious lips of her companion to her hand soothes and warms her like the sun to a snow bitten flower.

"You're shaking," he gasps, shrugging off his coat, slipping it over her arms in a vast attempt to shield her from the cool air.

"Now you'll be cold," she smiles, knowingly.

"I'll survive," he promises, as they resume their skate.

"Always a risk taker," Lindsay teases.

"Yup, that's me," Carter grins.

"Speaking of - you mentioned 'dazzling' me with your extraordinary talents on the ice...now, was that just a ploy to get me out here - or can you really do all of those fancy turns and jumps?"

"For your information, I happen to be a magnificent skater."

"AH..." Lindsay nods. "So, who would you compare yourself to?"

"Think - Scott Hamilton," Carter proclaims, grandly.

"That I'd love to see," she bellows. "Okay, Scott - let's see your moves."

"Don't mind if I do."

Scooting back a little, Carter brings his hands above his head and crooks his leg behind him. But as he goes to turn, his foot tricks him up and is body breaks into a cartoon-like disaster. The unmistakable sound of Lindsay's laughter floods his ears as he lies in a twisted heap on the ice.

Clapping emphatically, her joy at his failure is obvious. "Very impressive, doctor...more like 'Goofy on Ice'," she giggles.

Standing, Carter looks at her menacingly. "Dole, I'm gonna give you a word of advice - I'd suggest you use it." Lindsay places her hands on her hips as if to say 'bring it on.' "RUN!!"

"Wha - AH!" Lindsay takes off, scrambling to get a good speed and distance.

"Got ya," Carter smirks, elated by victory, arms capturing her so she is pressed tightly against him.

Laughter fades as eyes and lips become magnetic, meeting in hopes of receiving comfort and satisfaction...sealing one of life's perfect moments the best way they know how. Swept away, alive and free...discovering on impact that some things never change.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~


A week later, Lindsay sits at her desk, her mind playing tug-of-war between her newfound happiness with Carter and the angst of the Robin case. All the pressure of the trial and what the firm stood to lose was competing heavily with her desire to revel in their building relationship. Most would find it funny to say that a few dates constitutes a relationship, but having a past together made it not so far fetched.

They had been on three dates already, and each one made her yearn for another. This man that had captured her heart once was doing it all over again. With every look, every smile, every breath, she is falling harder than the first time.

It was all still quite surreal. Seeing him again was something she never thought possible. But he was back in her life…Carter Bryant – the dark haired, brown eyed charmer…her first love…her first lover. Tomorrow remains veiled with question marks, but today…in this moment…she knows she wants him to stay.

The daydream ends as the door opens and Bobby, Eugene, Jimmy and Ellenor file inside. Concern erases the smile from her lips as their faces refuse to tell her whether things are going good or bad. Deciding to give him a few minutes to breathe, Lindsay waits a while before going into Bobby’s office.

“So…he’s doing well?”

Bobby looks up at her. “On the son he did great…on the father…he wobbled a little…” he trails off, the worst getting the better of him.

“Who’s next?”

“The detective – right after lunch.”

“Well, good luck.”

Bobby nods. “To all of us.”

Lindsay heads for the door, but turns back to him. “Bobby?” He looks at her again. “This Christmas party…we can invite clients?”

“I guess,” he shrugs, standing.

“Uh, what about dates? Are we supposed to bring dates?”

Oh, please, God, say it isn’t so… “You know you really should check with Lucy – she knows more what’s going on.”

“Okay,” she smiles brightly, stepping towards the door.

“Do…you have a…date?” Bobby mutters the words, stopping her from leaving.

“Uh—well, no…I haven’t…asked anyone…”  Not yet.  “I was just wondering.” Make conversation. Lindsay steps forward. “Are you bringing anyone?”

“No…um….” Ask her! Just ask her! Bobby’s lips part as he thinks he might actually have the courage, but as her eyes downcast and she looks uncomfortable he lets it go. “I’m up next with the detective, so, I should really be –“

“OH – yeah,” she smiles and walks out.

Bobby lowers himself back in his chair, sighing. He knows she’s had more than one date with this mystery guy – that alone was hard enough to deal with. But seeing her with him at their party…that was something he couldn’t handle – to watch another man make her laugh…holding her close and touching her and maybe even kissing her…no…he couldn’t do it.

Running his hands over his face, he takes a deep breath. Looking down at the papers atop his desk, he focuses his attention on the matter at hand.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Lindsay and Carter sit on her sofa, the fire crackling and the Christmas tree still bare of ornaments as they work together, stringing popcorn.

"Hey!" Lindsay swats his hand as Carter raises a piece to his mouth.

"What?! It's just one!"

"Yeah, for now. But eventually it'll turn into two, then three, then four and so on, until three quarters of the bowl is gone. We have just enough to -" She gasps as he pops it in with a loud crunch.

"Mmmmmm...it's gooooood," Carter grins, licking his lips dramatically.

Peeved, Lindsay contemplates a proper 'punishment'. Suddenly, a light bulb goes off in her head.

"OW!" Growling, he rubs his temple after she gives it a harsh thump with her finger.

"Humf," she smiles proudly, reaching for the bowl.

"Ten years later and you're still up to the same stuff..."

"Well, it worked -" Lindsay says, mocking him by paying equal treatment to her temple as he did his. "Didn't it?"

Once Lindsay's back is turned, Carter throws a single piece of popcorn at her. At first, it appears as though she didn't notice, until a few seconds pass and she does the same thing to him. Soon, they are face to face, hurling fistfuls, laughing hysterically as they do. The playful struggle lands them on the floor, covered in salt, butter and crumbs. So caught up, they don't hear the door open. When Helen clears her throat upon seeing them, they look up, hardly able to contain themselves.

Ticking her tongue, she sighs. "And she calls me the messy one."

"Hi Helen," they exclaim in unison, giggling.

"Children," Helen responds sarcastically, batting her eyelashes.

"We'll clean up," Lindsay promises, rising on her knees.

"Yeah, yeah," she waves her off, shouting "be good now," as she walks towards her room.

"Okay, Mom!" Lindsay yells after her.

"Yeah, and if we do can we watch The Grinch before bed?" Carter chuckles.

"FUNNY!!"


~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Bobby stands amongst the crowded office, smiling a little as he looks around at all he’d been faced with losing. They’d come such a long way since the days of eviction notices, drug dealers and prostitutes. It was a great feeling to share the good and the bad times with your closest friends…that was who they were: a team…a family.

When his eyes land on Lindsay, his smile grows. Her guy hadn’t shown up after all, and Bec was keeping her company instead. If he was lucky, he might even get a dance with her…or a chance meeting under the mistletoe.

“Let her go, Bobby.”

Bobby frowns as he turns to Helen. “Excuse me?”

“You need to let her go. If you don’t…you just might lose her completely.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that she’s thinking about divesting.”

“What – why?!”

“I think you know the answer.” She pauses as he looks away. “She’s happy. Let her be happy. You need to stop looking at her as an ex-lover or potential lover and start looking at her as a friend. A friend could smile and encourage –“

“Encourage? You expect me to encourage her to see someone else?”

“I’m not saying it’ll be easy –“

“Do me a favor, Helen – just stay out of it. It really isn’t any of your business. This is between me and Lindsay.”

“Would you listen to me? I’m telling you to stop being an idiot for once in your life and walk away before you hurt her anymore than you already have!”

“Thanks for the tip. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I need a drink.”

Grabbing a beer off the table, he opens it and takes a swig. Lindsay's laughter draws him to her.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Listen, um…can we talk?”

“Yeah, sure.”

They walk into his office, and set their drinks down.

“So…we’re still in business.”

“Yeah…still partners – unless you’re thinking of leaving…”

“What?!”

“Helen said something…”

“OH…” she shakes her head, making a mental note to kill Helen later on. “I’m not going anywhere…yet – I should be honest about – I don’t mean to be cold. I mean, it’s not that I’m not interested…I just know that it’s not right – and for once, I’m going with my head.”

“Oh, yeah, Lindsay – you and your heart – been so out of control.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Helen’s words come back into his mind as he searches for the right way to answer. He wants to fight for her…but does she really want him to? No matter how much it hurt, he’d rather have her as a friend than not at all. It isn’t over by a long shot, but for now…he’ll let her believe it is.

“Nothing…it means you’re right. I’m going with your head, too.”

“Good.” Lindsay walks up to him. “Merry Christmas.”

Lindsay moves to kiss his cheek, but Bobby’s face turns and their lips touch instead. Their eyes meet and for a moment he feels hopeful, as she makes no move to leave.

“I, um-“

Bobby stops as she raises her fingers to his lips.

“Don’t.”

Briefly caressing his cheek, she gives him a small smile. Without another word, she is out the door, leaving him feeling like he’d been sucker punched. Bobby takes a minute to catch his breath, then he follows.

As if things couldn’t get any worse, he finds Lindsay in another man’s arms. Bobby watches in disgust as the man takes her face in his hands and kisses her like he should have done only moments ago. She smiles and takes one of his hands, pulling him over to where Eugene, Ellenor, Jimmy and Bec are standing. Moving closer, he can hear Lindsay’s introduction.

“Oh, and this –“ gesturing towards Bobby “is Bobby Donnell. Bobby, this is Carter Bryant.”

“Good to meet you,” Carter smiles, shaking Bobby’s hand.

“Likewise,” Bobby lies, resisting the urge to break his hand.

“Carter,” Helen chimes as she and Lucy join them.

“Evening, Helen.”

In the spirit of pleasing Lindsay, Bobby plays nice by adding more to the conversation. “This is our receptionist, Lucy Hatcher. Lucy, Carter –“

“Bryant. It’s a pleasure.”

“You can say that again,” Lucy grins as they shake hands.

Rolling his eyes, Bobby takes another gulp of his beer.

“Lindsay’s told me so much about all of you.”

“Not all bad we hope,” Eugene teases.

“Funny,” Lindsay laughs shortly, then turns to Carter. “Want to get a drink or something?”

“Yeah.”

Carter waves with a smile, then puts his arm around Lindsay as she leads them away.

“She is smitten,” Eugene chuckles.

“Come on, Eugene, she’s only known the guy a week.”

“Uh, I hate to burst your bubble, Bobby, but she’s known him a lot longer than that,” Helen tells him as-a-matter-of-factly.

Bobby's face falls. “What do you mean?”

“They were together before – in high school. He’s been in LA for ten years. They bumped into each other last week.”

“Oh…”


~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Lindsay’s arms are draped around Carter’s neck as they dance to the cheerful, holiday tunes. She feels his hands on her lower back, the warmth they possess heating her body from head to toe. A contented sigh escapes her lips as he kisses her forehead, and she closes her eyes briefly, opening them to his wonderous grin.

“You okay?”

“Never better,” Lindsay replies. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh – I don’t know –“ Carter looks up in thought, something catching his eye as he does. “Hey…”

“What?” Lindsay giggles.

“Mistletoe,” he smirks, pointing up.

“Ah – as if you needed it.”

“But I can take advantage anyhow?”

“Mmmmmmmmm hmmmmmmmmmm….”

Lindsay’s eyes smile into his as he runs his thumb over her bottom lip. Leaning forward, he kisses it, then moves his mouth fully over hers. Tongues tangle as he deepens their passionate embrace, pulling her up and against him.

“WOW,” Lucy gasps as she watches the display. "WHO is THAT and what has she done with Lindsay?!"

Everyone laughs except Bobby, who is only able to look for an instant, his heart shattering as Lindsay responds to him. Slamming his beer down, he grabs his coat and strides out the door, missing the worried looks of his coworkers.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~


On the night of New Year’s Eve, Bobby comes into the office around nine. He’d left over an hour ago with the rest of the crew – minus Lindsay. Her pending case had kept her busy and she was staying late to work on it as usual. But tonight, he wanted her to forget it.

Passing her empty desk, he goes into the conference room – only to find evidence of her past presence – her briefcase and files strewn about the table. There was only one remaining place she could be: his office.

Walking in, he expects to find her on the couch, but she isn’t there. He’s about to leave, when he notices the light coming from the slightly opened bathroom door. Moving a little closer, he can see her form in front of the sink. Bobby swallows the lump growing in his throat as he takes in her beauty: hair styled in wavy curls…just enough makeup to highlight her breathtaking facial features…a deep blue satin gown hugging her curves perfectly…she turns – and he can see the back – or rather the lack there of.

Before she can see him, he moves to the door and takes a deep breath before knocking. When he hears her gasp in alarm, he jumps to ease her senses.

“It’s me, Bobby.”

Lindsay pokes her head out and smiles. “I thought you’d gone already.”

“I did – I just thought you might wanna join us.”

“I’d love to, but I can’t.”

“Why?”

“Didn’t Bec and Ellenor tell you? I’m going with Carter to the hospital’s charity ball. He’s picking me up in about twenty minutes.”

“Oh…” he nods, forcing a smile, though dying inside.

“Actually, I’m glad you’re here.”

“Really? Why?”

“I need your help.” She opens the door wider and turns. “There’s this rhinestone chain thing…and uh – I can’t snap it.”

“Okay…” he breathes. Stepping closer, his fingers grazing the v of her joined straps, finding the top stone at the place where the two strands of blue touch.

“It’s at the bottom…the upside-down v…you just take the silver thing and snap it into the other silver thing…” she giggles at how silly she must sound.

Bobby whispers his understanding, silently wishing that she would have let him figure it out on his own…allowing him to trail the length of her back slowly with his fingers. As his hot breath puffs against her skin, he briefly wonders if her heart is beating as rapidly as his. Kneeling, he raises his hands, noticing for the first time that they’re shaking. Alas, the connection is made and he stands.

“All done.”

“Thanks,” Lindsay grins. “What do you think?” She spins.

“I…” Bobby pauses for a long moment, then shakes his head. “There aren’t…any words…” he husks, dark blue eyes sparkling admist his love-induced trance.

Lindsay thinks she might thank him, but the words catch in her throat. Once again, he has stunned her…and she has no idea what to do. He must have picked up on it, she realizes, as he smiles.

“Well, have fun.”

“Thanks. You too.” Lindsay frowns as he turns away, thinking she might have hurt him. She hated this. She wants her friend back. Calling out to him, he stops at the door and turns.

“Bobby?”

“Yeah?”

“Happy New Year.”

“Happy New Year, Lindsay.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Click. Bobby’s arm drops from Lindsay’s shoulder as Bec finishes taking their picture with the Jacobs’ family. They were celebrating one of their best victories – the ending result leaving the client happy and the firm nearly a million dollars richer. Funny to think what a bunch of cockroaches can do. Something told Bobby that news broadcaster wasn’t laughing, though.

The gathering ends as they finish their champagne. Soon, everyone is gone except Bobby and Lindsay. Bobby watches as Lindsay starts cleaning up the mess. Picking up one of the bottles, she turns to him and smiles.

“There’s a little left in this one.” She pours the rest into two glasses and meets him in the middle, handing him one. “Just enough for one more toast.”

“Cheers,” Bobby smiles, clinking his glass to hers.

They finish and Lindsay continues to pick up, Bobby helping her as they move around in silence.

“So, what are your plans tonight?”

“Nothing,” she sighs. “Carter’s working and Helen has a date, so, I’ll probably just throw on some sweats and watch a movie.”

“Sounds fun.”

“Yeah…what are you doing?”

“Well, there’s this BU alumni thing I’m supposed to go to. The hockey team is in the running for the championship for the first time in ages and the school invited past classes to come and cheer them on. There’s going to be a party after. I’m probably not going, though.”

“Why not?”

Bobby shrugs. “I don’t know. Don’t want to go alone I guess.”

“You should go. I’m sure you won’t be the only one there without a date.”

“Yeah, maybe.” He pauses, thinking. “Hey – why don’t you come with me?”

“Well, I –“ she looks down.

“Just – as a friend.”

Lindsay takes a moment to think it over, then smiles. “Okay.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Bobby steps off the elevator on Lindsay’s floor, a bounce in his step, as he is thrilled to have the chance to spend the evening with her. He’d traded his three-piece suit for black jeans and a matching turtleneck sweater – enjoying the fact that he was able to dress casually for this particular outing.

Knocking on the door, he waits a couple of minutes until it opens, revealing Lindsay – clad in dark blue jeans and a red sweater. Just like every other day, he finds the need to grab her and kiss her and tell her that she’s the only woman who could ever make him feel like this.

“Hi,” she smiles.

“Hi,” he returns her smile. “You ready?”

“Yeah,” she grabs her coat and he moves forward, helping her to put it on. “Thanks.” As Lindsay starts to follow him out the door, the phone rings. “Sorry. Just one second.”

Lindsay runs to catch it. “Hello? … hey …. yeah, I called. They said you were in the middle of something … No, that’s why I called. I’m going to this thing with Bobby…yes, Donnell…I will…okay…I’ll call you tomorrow….Bye.” She laughs as she joins Bobby outside, locking the door as she speaks. “Sorry about that. I called Carter to tell him I wasn’t going to be home. He was working with a patient, so, he had to call me back.”

“Oh…” Bobby pauses. “Is he….okay with this?”

“Why wouldn’t he be?”

“Well we…used to...sleep together.”

Lindsay shrugs her shoulders. “He doesn’t know that. Not yet anyway. Besides, even if he did, it wouldn’t matter. He knows we’re friends. He trusts me.”

Bobby nods. “Look, I didn’t mean to –“

She waves him off. “It’s okay. Let’s just go, huh?”

“Yeah…”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~


“BOBBY DONNELL!”

At the sound of his name, Bobby turns around – grinning as he comes face to face with one of his old buddies.

“Chip Mathews,” he says, patting him on the back.

“How the hell are ya, man?”

“Pretty good, actually.”

“That’s what I heard. You got your own firm, huh?”

“Yeah. What about you?”

“I’m actually a partner at a firm in Chicago. I got wind of this little shindig and decided I couldn’t pass it up.” Smiling at Lindsay, he looks back at Bobby. “This your girl?”

Yeah. I wish. “I’m sorry, Chip, this is Lindsay Dole. She’s a partner at my firm. Lindsay, Chip Mathews.”

“Nice to meet you,” Lindsay smiles, extending her hand.

“Same here,” Chip winks, shaking her hand. “So – you two aren’t together?”

“Uh, no…” Bobby mumbles.

“Just friends…” Lindsay says, taking a sip of her soda.

“Forever a bachelor, aye, Donnell?” Chip laughs. “Come on, I want you to meet my wife.”

Bobby regretfully follows, wishing he could have introduced Lindsay as his wife. Though happy for his friend, he wasn’t all that anxious to watch the couple that had everything he wanted. They probably had kids, too. And he…well, he had nothing.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Bobby and Lindsay are in a fit of laughter as they reach her door. The night had truly been memorable and their present joy was brought on by the events that played out: the won hockey game and the excitement following – then the party, where Bobby got to see so many lost friends. Even though they weren’t together, Bobby was happy to share it with Lindsay – there wasn’t another person in the world he’d rather have by his side. Minus the two dozen instances in which they had to deny they were a couple, it was a truly good time.

“So…”

“So…”

Lindsay touches Bobby’s arm. “I had fun. Thanks for bringing me.”

“Welcome. I had fun, too.”

They stand in an awkward silence for a moment, then Lindsay leans up and kisses him on the cheek, whispering ‘goodnight’ as she does. When her face remains close, Bobby can’t stop himself. He tilts his head and brushes his lips against hers. Sensing a hint of a dare in her eye, his hand braces the back of her head, and he leans in, ready to kiss her with all the passion he can muster - but she steps back. The words are inching their way to his lips when she turns her gaze to the approaching figure.

"Carter!" Lindsay exclaims in surprise, silently praying that he hadn't seen anything.

Briefly closing his eyes in defeat, Bobby exercises his best fake smile when the 'master of timing' flashes him a grin, taking his place beside Lindsay.

"Hey, honey," Carter gives her a peck on the lips, then turns to Bobby. "Bobby, how's it going?"

"Good and you?"

"Great. I got off a little early - thought I'd come and see my girl." Bobby thinks he may throw up as Carter kisses Lindsay again. "Did you take care of my girl?"

"Yeah," Bobby nods, thinking his hands may coil around the good doctor's neck if he calls Lindsay 'his girl' one more time. "Look, Lindsay, I should go. It's late."

"Okay," Lindsay smiles. "Thanks again."

With a wink, Bobby moves inside the elevator, waving as the doors meet.

Unlocking the door, Lindsay stops before entering the apartment. "Carter, why don't you go inside? I'll be in in a minute, okay?"

"Sure," Carter kisses her cheek and walks past her, closing the door behind him.

"Hi Carter," Helen greets him, arms crossed over her chest.

"Evening, Helen." It is clear that something is bothering him as even a simple smile seems to be a difficult task to perform.

"Rough night?" She asks, easing her way in.

"I guess you could say that." Stepping closer to her, he examines her faltering composure. "You saw it too, didn't you?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~


The elevator bell sounds and Lindsay rushes into the parking lot. "Bobby!" Looking around, she spots him getting into his car. "Bobby, wait! Wait!"

"Lindsay?" Bobby shuts the door and meets her in the middle. "What are you doing out here? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, I - well, I - I just -"

"What?"

"I just - had to -" Lindsay huffs, swearing under her breath. "Back there - what just happened -"

"Nothing...happened..." Bobby mumbles, unable to meet her eye.

"You kissed me." She waits for a response, but he remains silent. "You KISSED me!"

"Yeah, so what if I did?" His tone becomes more challenging as he steps closer to her.

"So what if you did? So what if you did?!?" Lindsay slaps him on the shoulder. "Dammit, Bobby! You can't just do that!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's not fair! You KNOW I'm with Carter - you KNOW I -"

"Not fair?! Come on, Lindsay - you of all people!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"Nevermind," Bobby says quietly, heading back to his car.

"No! We're not finished here, Bobby! I wanna know what you meant by that!"

"Forget it, Lindsay, just go back to your boyfriend!"

"No!" She shouts. "I wanna know -"

"You wanna know? FINE!" Stalking back over to her, he begins venting. "You stand here and you preach to me about fairness when not two months ago you denied me exactly what you're willing to give him? He's an EX, too - he hurt you, too - tell me how it's different, please! Is it money? Or is it the fact that he was able to 'pull you out of things'?!"

"Don't you DARE -"

"What could I have done to -" Bobby stops, tears brinking his eyes. "I don't wanna fight with you, Lindsay. It's just - everyday I have to see you smile and be so happy...and I have to live knowing that it's not me who's making you feel like that...it's him. It hurts...to know that I can't have you." Deciding to take the plunge for once, he caresses her cheek, gazing into her eyes so she can see that he speaks not of lies, but of truth. "I love you, Lindsay...I want you back..."

There is a moment of dead silence before Lindsay pries his hand away from her face, whispering, "You never had me, Bobby..."


PART THREE