TITLE: When the Last Petal Falls - Part One: And So We Meet Again. . .

AUTHOR: Court

RATING: PG

NOTE: Takes place in season 3, following the episode "State of Mind" (a.k.a. Part two of the Evelen Mayfield case and the famous mistletoe kiss between Lucy and Bobby)

THANKS TO: Jewel, who has been there for me so much lately. I can't tell you how much it means to me. Thanks for all your encouragement and just - being YOU! I appreciate your help in looking the draft of this over and giving such awesome suggestions. I dedicate this part to you, my friend.

FEEDBACK: Ahh....how it brings such joy into my life! Love it! <blessed_23_83@yahoo.com>

DISCLAIMER: Carter's mine, but the rest belong to Mr. Michelle Phieffer.

The snow flakes fall slowly from the dark sky and down to earth, sprinkling the empty streets of Boston on this frosty winter night.  Bobby stares through the open blinds, unable to enjoy the rare peace of the late hour. For, there was no peace for him - not anymore. One stupid, meaningless kiss and all his walls have crumbled to the ground. He had been blind, but was no more. He wishes he still was - then her face would leave his mind...he could sleep at night...and forget the fact that she'd made it clear that there was no second chance for them.

Sad blue eyes change focus from the outside activity to the baseball rolling across the inside of his hand. "Just another dream gone by," he thinks, shaking his head. The frustration that has built inside dares him to send the ball crashing through the glass, but he ignores his body's harsh demands and instead moves from his position in front of the window to sit on the couch. Bobby's knuckles turn white as he grasps the object tighter and tighter in his hands, pressing his forehead against them. His eyes close briefly, but soon snap open again as Lindsay's face is all he can see.

"Gee, I wonder why."  Bobby's own mind taunts him as he recalls how many times they'd shared this couch...countless nights spent right here, swept up in a fierce passion neither could or wanted to deny. The first and last time...the beginning and end of the greatest thing he'd ever had. Now he knows...he'd give anything to have her back, but with a promise of something more - something better.

Emotions have replaced the void he has felt...the truth, he knows, is that they've been there longer than imaginable. That was him - a man willing to spend his life caged like a bird in every way that matters.  It's incomprehensible to think that way, as he is damned near forty years old with nothing to call his own. The firm is his life - it is all he has...and he's only got himself to blame for it.

Getting hit by the car was the start of it all, and everyday after seemed to unleash a little more. The gaping wounds that gashed his being weren't visible to the eye, but Bobby could see them clear as day. The realizations have bled from him since that instance, and no stitch or bandage could stop them from coming. It was the start of his own torment. Lindsay had given him peace of mind and comfort when he needed it the most, and he tried to return the favor. But holding her and kissing her had been for his own selfish reasons, too - he was tired of being alone. Those precious moments play like a movie in his head, but he dies inside as he discovers, unlike her, he'd never really given her anything at all.

Each time Bobby feels sad, scared, lonely or just sick at heart he yearns for Lindsay's presence: those bright eyes full of understanding...arms ready and willing to reach out...her warm, glorious smile enough to dismiss the gentle, reassuring words she still offers. She is the candle in the darkness...the light of his life....and he aches to show her what she means to him.

But the door has been slammed in his face. It was a complicated road getting this point, so, why shouldn't this happen? Why should it be simple to get the girl? Lucy kisses him and he's suddenly riding the confusion rollercoaster - suddenly bringing life into a kiss he and Lindsay cast aside without a second thought. It was a stolen moment - a brief connection - that's all. But Lucy grabs him under her blasted mistletoe thing and last month's secret kiss exchange becomes some kind of silent promise to a new start.  Apparently, though, he was the only one who thought so.

Lindsay's choice not to talk about it during their case was reasonable, and Bobby agreed.  In fact, he wouldn't have said anything at all if not for the adorable image of her covered in cake mix and the desire to touch her when opportunity presented itself (mind you, had he had it his way, it would have been lips instead of a thumb so gently swiping the sugary substance from her lip). But tonight it all became clear. He could see the pain behind the sedated look in her eye...it was the same broken spirit he'd seen as she confessed her love for him a year ago. He'd hurt her...badly. It chilled him to hear her throaty vow: "I could fall in love with you all over again if I let myself...but I won't."



Bobby admits he's new at this sort of thing, but he truly believes giving her more time will make a difference. Lindsay had said that she needed somebody to pull her away from their work...he finds it ridiculous that she could think such a thing about him. All the times he made love her...all the times they laid entwined sharing their thoughts and just...being. Work was always the furthest thing from their minds...

"Mmmm..."

Bobby leans on an elbow, looking down at Lindsay - head resting on the lone brown pillow, eyes closed, a dreamy smile on her lips. He grins, running his hand through her hair. "What?"

"Do you hear that?"

Momentarily, he remains quiet. "No...I don't hear anything."

"Exactly," her smile grows wider. "Beautiful silence...oh, Bobby...don't you just love it? Don't you just wanna stay in this place...no worries...just...breathing...laughing...touching...living for the moment..."

"Yeah...it's nice..."

"It's heavenly..."

"That, too..." he kisses her softly on the lips.

"Make me laugh..." Lindsay hums, opening her eyes, blue meeting blue.

The silly side of Bobby starts making plans...fresh out of jokes, or too mind-blown, as he is still recovering, to come up with any, he leaps at the first thought that hits him. "Okay...let's play - find, count and kiss the freckles."

"WHAT?!" Lindsay giggles.

"You heard me!"

"Okay, it worked. I laughed. Moving on..."

"Come on..."

"It wouldn't be fair game...you don't have any!"

"Oh, contrare. Shows how well you pay attention."

"Well, you might have one or two, but still -"

"Sweetheart, you're missing the point...you see, it's something for both of us. You laugh, and I get to -"

"Yeah, I know..." she huffs. As he pouts, she sighs. "Okay..."

"Woo-hoo!"

Lindsay giggles as Bobby rubs his hands together, looking her over, wiggling his eyebrows. First, he goes for the tip of the third toe on her left foot. "One..." her right ankle "Two..." her right knee cap "Three..." back of her left knee "Four..."

Purposely, Bobby stays there longer, knowing that that place was her *tickle spot*. Lindsay squeals as he places tiny, feathery kisses over her sensitive skin, and unconsciously kicks her leg upward in reaction, banging him on the head.

"Ow!" Bobby growls, letting go of her leg. Their combined actions cause his body to shift and he falls off the couch. Lindsay roars as he starts going down, but stops, crying out as he grabs her, pulling her with him. Both laughing, Bobby reaches up, holding her flushed face in his hands, planting kisses over her barely visible freckles. "Five...six...seven...eight..."

Lindsay's laughter is like a song...its sweet melody echoing throughout the walls...haunting him as he fears he'll never share another moment like that with her again. Looking back on that night, Bobby is even more baffled by the idea of work ever being mixed with that sacred haven they'd built as one. How in the world could she say that? She couldn't really believe...no...impossible.

There has to be a way he can prove to her that what lies between them is not an equation for disaster, and when he finds it, he'll never stop trying. He curses the stupid deal they made, wishing he would have had the guts to tell her he wanted more, for he always had...he just never knew how much...until now. He needs her so much it scares him. And if the day comes when she can let go and surrender herself to him, he'll be waiting with open arms.


~*~*~*~        ~*~*~*~        ~*~*~*~        ~*~*~*~        ~*~*~*~        ~*~*~*~


Lindsay walks into the video rental store around seven thirty on Friday night. The past few months had been insane, to say the least, and all she wanted was to go home and relax. First all the drama with Pearson, then George Vogelman and Evelen Mayfield, now the Tommy Silva case - not to mention Bobby's odd behavior over the past week. What was THAT about?

Whatever it was, she was not up to discussing it. She hates that she even has to think about it. Not once, not twice, but three times she stood before him ready to give her all, and she received nothing in return. Justifiable or not, that is one book she'd rather leave closed. Their were good memories, but she knows where it would end....her heart has suffered enough beatings.

It took a great deal of strength to make it through each day after losing Bobby...even though she really hadn't lost-lost him. They made an agreement. Lindsay often wonders when falling in love had become part of the deal. But that's how it always happened for her - she fell only to crash and burn...she being the lone one feeling something more than lust or willing to commit to the concept of forever. Why should she give in to Bobby's charms just to spare him the pain she continues to feel after all this time?

Complete, utter truth wasn't an option. If it was, she would have poured her heart out to him right there in the office. She would have told him that she still loved him, that nothing in her life made since unless he was a part of it...that she'd rather lose sleep than get lost in dreams of him. Sitting in her chair, she felt the tears burning her eyes, but somehow kept them from falling. She didn't look at him after uttering those words...she couldn't, for knowing without a shadow of a doubt that doing so would break her...everything she said would lose meaning...she'd run into his arms and say, "To hell with thinking - this is where I belong."

And so, she kept her eyes glued to the folder, silently praying for him to leave - not wanting to see the look of anguish she knew was masking his face. When he bid her goodnight just seconds later, she still couldn't meet his eye. The same word fell from her lips, and he was gone. It was then that the tears made their escape, staining her cheeks, while her head insisted it wasn't right...that she had done the only thing that was right. Strong in mind, weak at heart - the fight was tearing her apart. But as long as her mind leads the battle, the face in her tomorrow will never belong to Bobby.

"Excuse me, miss?"

Lindsay turns to the petite blonde teenager popping pink bubble gum, admiring the wide-eyed spirit as she remembers being that young and carefree.

"Can I help you with something?"

"Well, I'm not sure yet, actually."

"Okay. Just let me know."

"Thanks," Lindsay nods with a smile, then turns to the videos, glancing over the titles. Nothing jumps out at her, so, she takes out her cellphone and dials her home number. Three rings later, Helen picks up. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's me. I'm at Blockbuster. Got any ideas?"

"Something funny - but romantic...and a little sad, too. What's the word -sappy?"

"Why, thank you, Helen! You're a big help."

"Arg! Leave it to you to make a trip to the video store a life-altering event. Just pick something!"

"I suggest you say something, or else we're gonna be watching Ernest movies and The English Patient all weekend!"

"Lindsay, you know I hate that movie!"

"5, 4, 3, 2..."

"Steel Magnolias, Jerry Maguire, The Wedding Singer, Terms of Endearment - GOODBYE!"

Lindsay giggles as the phone goes dead. Reviewing the list, she quickly crosses off the first two: Steel Magnolias, because that Jackson guy looked too much like Bobby, and Jerry Maguire because it was part of one of their best *dates* and would serve as a reminder of all she wants so desperately to forget. A tiny voice inside mocks her for being silly, but she doesn't care. "It's not right. It's not right. It's not right." Another voice chants in debate.

After selecting Meet Joe Black, Top Gun, The Breakfast Club and When Harry Met Sally, Lindsay realizes she disregarded all of Helen's requests. "The Wedding Singer," she mumbles, heading for the Comedy section. "Damn," she swears under her breath, as all the copies are gone. "Oh, well," she sighs, grabbing the last copy of Terms of Endearment before heading to the counter.

"Did you find everything okay?" The young man asks, smiling as he runs her card through the machine.

"Almost. My roommate wanted The Wedding Singer, but there weren't any copies left."

"I'm sorry about that," he chuckles.

"No problem. I'm sure we'll get by. Something for next time..."

"Excuse me. I couldn't help but -"

Lindsay turns toward the source of the male voice, freezing in shock as they come face to face. Evidently, the surprise wasn't hers alone, as he is unable to finish his sentence upon the sight of her.

"LINDSAY?!?"

"CARTER?!?"

The man comes to her aide as her purse falls from her shaking hands and onto the floor, its contents scattering about in every which way. Their eyes lock and grins grow wide as they reach for the items.

"I can't believe it's you..." Carter laughs, shaking his head.

"I can't believe it's YOU!" Lindsay joins in the laughter.

"Ten years..."

"God, it seems like -"

"Excuse me, miss?"

Both look up at the cashier, standing abruptly upon seeing the growing line of people.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she apologizes, bending down to quickly grab her things. Opening her wallet, she pulls out her cash, counting the bills out after glancing at the total on the computer screen.

"Uh, Lindsay -"

"Yeah?" She looks up briefly and smiles.

"I thought you might like this..." He holds up the video, handing it to her as she looks up again.

"What's this?" Lindsay asks, curiously. Reading the title, she smirks. "The Wedding Singer."

"I heard you," he explains. "I was just returning it."

"Oh, well, my roommate will be eternally grateful. This is one of her favorite movies."

Lindsay pays for all the videos and they walk out, Carter relieving her of the rather large bag as any gentleman would do. They walk to her car in silence, both still reeling from this unexpected reunion. Carter steals secret looks at Lindsay, or so he thinks, until she swats him lightly on the arm, giggling at his whine of protest.

"What?!"

"What yourself," Lindsay smiles sweetly up at him as they stop at her car.

"It's just -" Carter grins, looking down, then back up as he steps closer to her. "You look sensational...after all this time...you've only gotten more beautiful."

"Ah, he's still good with the lines," she blushes, looking away.

"And she's still modest as ever," he says, tilting her chin up. "I'm serious."

"Thank you," she replies in a low voice. "You look just the same...well, except for your hair and uh - the suit jacket in place of the leather one..."

"I still have it."

"You do?"

"Yeah..."

They stare at each other for a moment, caught up in the stream of memories that continue to hit them one after the other.

"So..."

"So..."

They laugh.

"Are you married?"

"No..." Lindsay smiles a little. "You?"

"No."

"How long have you been back in town? I mean, since -"

"About six months, actually. I got transferred from LA."

"Really?" She asks, intrigued. He nods. "Where are you working?"

"St. Anne's."

"So, you're a doctor?"

"Yup," he grins.

"Just like you always wanted..."

"Yeah...how 'bout you? Was Harvard fun?"

"A blast!" Lindsay jokes. "No, seriously, it was a great experience."

"What firm are you with?"

"I'm a partner, actually. Donnell, Young, Dole and Frutt."

"Wow. That's fantastic! Good for you."

"Thanks. You know, I'm kinda surprised you haven't heard of my firm. I mean, in the time you've been here we've had three murder trials."

"Yeah, well, I don't keep up with the news much. I pretty much live at the hospital 24/7. This was an ordered day off."

"Hard worker, huh?"

"I guess so. I just love my job and there's really no reason to leave it when all I've got outside is an empty apartment."

"I can't really talk. I work a lot of late nights myself," Lindsay sadly admits.

As their eyes meet, both can see the regret in sharing loneliness. Caring for each other, neither likes the idea of the other suffering the emptiness of life without something real...something to call home. Carter feels the need to touch her...comfort her...as he still knows her so well. It's a mystery to him how someone so incredible doesn't have anyone to call a partner. For one selfish moment, he is thankful for that, though...another chance with Lindsay would mean a lost dream had been found.

"Yeah..." he finally whispers, realizing he hadn't responded.

Again, the staring resumes. "Look, Carter, it's great seeing you and all, but I should go. My roommate's expecting me."

Memories continue to come and go, as they remember a time in which there were not any obligations for them. Their life together was so simple...so spontanious...living life as if they had one last breath to take. Growing up has changed them without doubt...but not so much that they are strangers to one another. In fact, they were still very much the same - but in different ways.

"I understand...listen, would you like to go out to dinner sometime?"

"Um, well..."

"I know it's sudden, but if I don't leave the hospital more, people are gonna start talking."

"What do you think they'll say - he's making it with Trauma Room 2?"

"And I'd almost forgotten how great you are with jokes."

"Oh, as opposed to -"

"Hey - you used to say I was the funniest guy you'd ever met!"

"Ah...I was young and naive. Experience has taught me well."

"Sweet as honey, cute as a button..." Lindsay smiles as Carter utters the words he so often had to her in the past. "What do ya say, Linds?"

"Okay. I'll give you my number on one condition."

"Shoot."

"When we go out - you have to wear the leather jacket," she grins.

"I think I can oblige to that," he smirks.


~*~*~*~        ~*~*~*~        ~*~*~*~        ~*~*~*~        ~*~*~*~        ~*~*~*~


"Oh my God, Lindsay! You have a date?!?"

"Jeeze, Helen. You act as if I've never been on one!"

"Well, it's been a while," Helen tells her, sitting on the sofa.

"I went on a blind date two weeks ago!"

"Blind dates don't count, Lindsay, especially when you have to have your arm twisted to go."

"Ugh. Whatever," Lindsay sighs, taking a place next to Helen. "Which movie do you wanna watch first?"

"You pick," she says, carelessly. "So, it's really the guy from all those pictures?"

"Yeah."

"Wow." Helen is quiet for a restless second. "You have a date, Lindsay!"

"Ye-essssss...well, not yet."

"What do you mean - 'not yet'?"

"He has my number."

Helen rolls her eyes. "But he'll call and you'll say 'yes', right?" Lindsay doesn't respond. "Right?!"

"I...I don't know, Helen..."

"You don't know?!"

"Helen, could we just drop this, please?"

"No way! Lindsay, what's going on?"

"It's complicated..."

"How?" She pauses, thinking. "Is this about Bobby?"

"No!" She sighs. "Maybe...a little...."

"Lindsay, you have got to move on."

"I know that, Helen. I have been."

"I wouldn't call kissing him moving on."

"Don't go there, Helen."

"Don't give me a reason to!"

"He's been acting strange lately, ya know..."

Helen shoots her a look. "Lately?!"

Lindsay giggles. "Helen..."

"If THAT wasn't the understatement of the century..."

"Point taken...." she pauses "can we be serious now?"

"Ah, I suppose...if we must." she smiles playfully, nodding a little "Go on...I'm listening..."

Lindsay smiles her thanks, sighing. "Anyway..." She looks away in thought. "I know it's not right. I keep telling myself that. But...all the things I feel...about not wanting to get hurt again...the same things apply with Carter. You know about what happened there. I feel like a hypocrite to myself in giving Carter a chance, but not Bobby."

"It's completely different, Linds. With Bobby, it was you falling in love with him and not getting that back in return. With Carter, it was the both of you falling and then separating because of different dreams."

"Who's to say those dreams haven't changed?"

"It's a date Lindsay, not a marriage proposal. And look where those dreams got you, anyhow. Right back to each other. It's like some kind of old romantic movie," Helen smiles.

"I still don't see how it's different. I mean, you can't make someone love you."

"I know," Helen places her hand over Lindsay's. "Face it, babe. You've got two guys after you and one of them's got to go. But-uh...for the time being, I say you take advantage."

Lindsay looks confused. "What do you mean?"

"Two, good looking guys, dripping in sex..."

"Helen!" Lindsay gasps, horrified.

"You are way to easy," Helen laughs, teasingly. Taking a deep breath, she puts her 'best friend, sister advice' hat on. "You've played both cards before. Just think about what it is you want. Someone might get hurt, but life goes on. It'll all work out in the end. But it's your call."

"What do you think I should do?"

"Truth?"

"Yeah..."

"I think you should say 'yes' when Carter calls you. You're single. Live like us other single people. Have fun. What's meant to be will be. If Bobby does love you, he'll stick around. He just might have to put up a fight to get you. If there's anyone I'd love to see squirm, it's him."

"There's the Wicked Witch of the West again..." Lindsay laughs.

"Hey, Glenda, you asked."

"I don't want to hurt them, Helen," Lindsay speaks almost inaudibly, resting her head against the back of the couch.

"I know," Helen pats her hand. "You've got to stop thinking so much, though, Lindsay. You don't owe either one of those guys a thing. Just take it a day at a time...it'll be fine."

"You think so?"

"I do...now, enough with the talking. Let's watch one of the tapes." Helen walks over and puts in a tape without looking at the title. Fast-forwarding through the previews, she stops as credits begin to appear. "The Wedding Singer."

"Lucky for you..." Lindsay giggles.



"Yup...you do realize him picking this movie scores him some serious points?" Lindsay ignores her.  "And didn't you say something about him singing, too? Awe, Linds, a singing doctor! If that combo isn't a turn on -"

"Helen!"

"What - I'm just saying ..."
~*~*~*~        ~*~*~*~        ~*~*~*~        ~*~*~*~        ~*~*~*~        ~*~*~*~


"Congratulations, Jimmy," Lindsay puts on her best smile for him as she walks back to her desk. The partners meeting had just adjourned, and Jimmy was voted first chair in the Robin lawsuit. If she had it her way, they'd be settling the case, but it wasn't going to happen. She would just have to sit back and hope for the best. With Bobby as second chair, she had faith in Jimmy. Something inside her says that Bobby has made the right decision. She hopes he has. God, how she hopes.

The uncomfortable silence ends as the door opens. A delivery man carrying a crystal vase of peach roses enters, turning the heads of everyone in the room.

"Good afternoon. I have a delivery for a -" He looks at his tablet. "Ms. Dole."

At the sound of her name, Lindsay's eyes grow wide in alarm, and she rises. All eyes are on her as she walks over to him. "That's me."

"Okay, if you would just sign here, please?" She does as he asks, returning his pen as she finishes. "Thank you. Here you go..."

Lindsay takes the vase carefully from his hands. "Thanks."

"Have a nice day."

"You, too."

He leaves, shutting the door quietly behind him. Lindsay moves over to her desk, sitting the flowers down. Checking the card, a smile creeps upon her lips. 'Linds - Can't wait to see you again...hope these are still your favorite. - Carter.'

Unable to contain her contentment, Lindsay takes in the delicious scent, smiling with her eyes closed as she recalls how this is just like him. Such the romantic. When she looks up again, she jumps as Ellenor, Rebecca and Lucy stand directly in front of her. "What?!"

"Does prince charming have a name?" Bec teases.

"What prince?" Lindsay laughs, sitting back down in her chair.

"The one who has you turning the color of a cherry," Lucy grins.

"Actually, it's more like a plum - or a beet," Ellenor joins in the fun.

"Funny," Lindsay sighs just as the phone rings.

"Donnell, Young, Dole and Frutt...yes, hold one moment..." Lucy looks at Lindsay. "Line one."

Picking it up, she smiles. "This is Lindsay, how can I help you?"

"By coming to dinner with me tonight," the voice on the other end chimes.

"Hey," she blushes.

"Did you get the roses?"

"Yes...they're beautiful. Thank you."

"My pleasure. So, what do ya say? You, me, candlelight, good food, dancing..."

"I'd say that sounds like heaven."

"Is that a 'yes', Ms. Dole?"

"That it is."

"Great. What time?"

"I should get home around seven. Why don't you call me then?" Lindsay speaks in a low voice, trying to keep her private life as private as possible.

"That's fine. We'll talk later."

"Okay."

"And uh - have a good day..."

"You too."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Hanging up, she prepares for the line of questioning she expects to follow. "Yes, that was him. Yes, we're going on a date. And no, you don't know him. Everything else is for me to know and you to never find out."

The girls throw their hands up and laugh all the way back to their desks, Lucy mumbling, "That's what you think," as she does.

What Lindsay didn't know was that another body had heard her little confession...seen the glow in her at the prospect of a night out with her nameless Romeo. The devastation he feels is evident as he sits sulking on the old brown couch, hanging his head in pain and defeat.