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AUTHOR: COURT
RATING: PG-13
THANKS TO: DOTTIE, JEWEL, FLORA, BARBARA, LEANNE, KRITI, RIKKE, KIOSHA, EDENE, LINDSEY AND BRIONY FOR THE GREAT FEEDBACK!
DEDICATION: FOR BRIONY AND BARBARA, WHO SCARED ME A LITTLE INTO WRITING THIS...I JUST TOOK MY SWEET TIME DOING SO...HE HE HE...NO, IT WAS JUST A LITTLE WRITER'S BLOCK. HOPE YOU LIKE.
SUMMARY: SHORT AND SIMPLE. I THOUGHT OF MAKING THIS A 2-PART CHAPTER, BUT DECIDED AGAINST IT. LOVE BITES. LOVE HURTS. IT'S JUST NOT FUN SOMETIMES.
FEEDBACK: PPPAHHHLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEE?!? :) LOL - YEAH, I WANT IT! LUV LUV LUV IT!
DISCLAIMER: THEY WEREN'T MINE YESTERDAY AND
TODAY'S NOT LOOKING ANY DIFFERENT.
The steamy water shocks Lindsay on contact, as she lowers herself into the tub. Goosebumps fade as her body's temperature rises in reaction to the sudden flush of heat. Leaning back, she rests her head on the edge, closing her eyes and sighing as relaxation runs throughout her veins. Aching muscules...fried senses...all she wanted was peace. It wouldn't happen, though...no...what once seemed so simple was now so far from her reach she might as well ask to touch the star-blanketed night sky.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Lindsay's heart races faster and faster as the drama of her emotional state overflows her mind. 'Was she? What if she was? What would she do? How would Bobby react? Could she really do it alone?' The walls begin to close in on her rapidly...anxiety chokes her...her final thread of sanity threatening to break. Gasping, her body jerks up as if desperately escaping a vivid nightmare.
This wasn't her. She was strong...a fighter - she could handle anything. Couldn't she? ... She wasn't so sure anymore. Life had never tested her so...never beat her down and pulled her back for more. It was awful...frightening to know she couldn't win all her battles.
The clock on the wall tells her it's time. Standing, she steps out and wraps the towel around her, adjusting the plush material to her wet skin. Slowly, she moves over to the counter. The turtle-like pace she takes makes her laugh inwardly...feeling a little ridiculous. The thought of having a baby had always been joyous for Lindsay, but now...she had never been more terrified.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she holds the stick
in-between her shaking fingers. The answer couldn't be more clear as her
eyes burn a hole in the tiny patch of blue.
Outside, Rebecca, Jimmy and Ellenor sit in an uncomfortable silence. The only sounds in the room are the occasional squeaking of a chair or a sigh of frustration, until the door opens.
"Lindsay!" Bec exclaims as her friend walks in.
"Hey, Bec," she smiles.. "Ellenor..Jimmy...how are you guys?"
"Okay," Ellenor says gently, moving to hug Lindsay.
"Good to see ya, Lindsay," Jimmy grins.
"Lindsay!" Eugene calls out as he walks out of his office.
"Hey," she chimes as he pulls her into a hug.
"What are you doing here?"
"Well, I came to talk to -" she begins her response to Eugene, but stops upon seeing the keeper of the name a mere breath away from her lips. Their eyes meet, but all she can see in his is coldness. A shiver slides down her spine as Bobby's glare cuts her like a knife. Wounded, she looks away. "We need to talk," she tells him, hoarsely. When he offers no response, she forces herself to look back. "It's important."
"Fine," he says, flatly, walking back inside.
The tears have already formed, and she struggles to hide them...hoping he didn't see. Upon entering, she notices he's seated behind the desk. That tiny action hurts her; when she'd visited his office before, he'd be right there to close the door after her, then grab her for a kiss. It was perfect...she wonders how something so good could fall apart so quickly...or at all.
Memories of better days continue to hit her one after another as she sinks into the stiff cushions of the old brown couch. It hadn't been long ago that they'd made love in this very spot...such passion they'd shared...she could still feel him...
"What's this about, Lindsay?"
The impatient and calculating tone around Bobby's words snaps Lindsay back to the present. "Something's come up -"
"What's it to me?" He shrugs. "You have a new boyfriend. Why don't you discuss it with him?"
Lindsay closes her eyes briefly, narrowing her eyebrows in confusion. "What are you talking about?"
"Oh, nevermind," he growls, raising a hand to his forehead.
"No! Don't you dare accuse me of something like that and then dismiss it before I get the chance to defend myself."
"I don't want to hear it! I'm sick of your lies!"
"I NEVER lied to you!"
"Enough!" He sighs, swearing under his breath. "Look, Lindsay - just say whatever it is you want to say and go. I've got work to do."
"I'm not talking until you explain yourself," she vows. "Where would you ever get the idea that I'm seeing someone else? Please, tell me. I'm dying to know."
"I talked to him, that's how!"
"What?!"
"Last week. I called you - he answered."
"That's impossible. My number's unlisted."
"Ellenor gave me your cell phone number."
"But it doesn't make any -" Realization dawns on Lindsay, and she stops. "Wait a second...did you hang up on him?"
"Yes."
She laughs a little at his stupidity. "That was Mark. He's a lawyer at my firm. We're working on a case together. I was in his office when you called."
"Oh, I''m sorry. Was that a bad time?' Leaning forward, he goes on. "Tell me, had you already finished or were you just getting started?"
Lindsay looks at Bobby in utter disbelief. Her first instinct is to run over and slap him with all her might, but something holds her back. Instead, she rises and moves in front of him. Studying his features, she is lost. "Who are you?
"No one," he whispers. "No one at all...I'm just another chapter in the book of Lindsay Dole's days of slumming," Bobby replies, sarcastically.
She shakes her head, setting her jaw. "You know what? If you want to act like a child, that's fine. But I won't waste my time on you any longer."
"Trust me, the feeling's mutual."
"Maybe we can talk when you grow up."
Bobby watches a Lindsay strides over to the door, unhappy with how things have turned out. Her leaving would mean that she'd win - succeed in walking out on him again. Whatever his feelings were, he couldn't stand it.
"NO!" He shouts, quickly moving to stop her. Slamming the door, he holds her arms tightly in his hands, pressing her body against it. "You're not going anywhere!"
"Let go of me," she snaps, struggling to get free.
"Not unless you promise to stay and talk to me."
"No! You wanted me to leave! You made that VERY clear! Now, LET GO OF ME!!!!!"
Catching a glimpse of pain in her eyes, he immediately lets go, startled that he'd unknowingly hurt her. "Sorry," he mumbles, but places his hands firmly above her head to prevent her from escaping. "What is it?" She looks down. "You said it's important," he sighs. "It must be since you flew all the way back here to tell me."
"No," Lindsay whispers harshly. "I came to see Bobby Donnell...I'm sure you know him." Bobby rolls his eyes, but it doesn't phase her. "He's this wonderful, amazing man that's kind, and gentle...and funny..." she starts to cry "and loving...sweet and considerate...a man that would never hurt me...never disrespect me...a man that I love more than life itself." Noticing the tears in his eyes, she adds, "I know he's in there somewhere...so...if you see him...tell him I really need him, okay?"
Sniffling, she uses one hand to wipe her cheek, then turn the knob. Before she can open it, though, his hand covers hers...its warmth caressing her as it rests there, ever so gently.
Bobby's tears have now fallen, Lindsay sees, as her eyes meet his once more. The cold is gone...replaced with a mix of love, hurt and sorrow. Hearts and souls say 'hello', cherishing what minds and bodies cannot. Knowing what is right to do...all she can do now...the words flow from her lips without a second thought.
"I'm going to have your baby," she confesses, before slipping quietly out the door.
Thunderstruck, Bobby is unable to move. Was he supposed to be happy ... or sad? Was this to be rejoiced ... or lamented? He just didn't know. All he was certain of was that he loved her ... God, how he loved her still. And everything that seemed significant only moments ago didn't matter now. He had to stop her.
"Lindsay, wait!" Desperately, he rushes after her. Ignoring him, Lindsay continues out the door, hurriedly entering the hallway. Catching up, he amazingly makes the elevator, as the doors are closing when he approaches. "You can't do this, we have to -"
"No, Bobby - I don't want to do this now. Please, just leave me alone."
"You can't tell me you're having my child then just vanish, Lindsay!"
"I'm not vanishing," she insists. "I'm just tired. My being stressed out isn't good for the baby."
"Oh," he nods. "I see. I'm sorry."
"Don't be," she whispers. "It's a lot to take in."
"Yeah," he smiles.
He's about to say something else when the elevator comes to an abrupt halt. They look at each other uneasily.
"Oh, no," Lindsay gasps.
"Dammit," Bobby curses, pounding on the buttons. Nothing. "Wonderful. We're stuck."
"My aren't you observant?" She jokes. He shoots her a look and she blushes. "Sorry."
They sit opposite one another on the floor, leaning against the wall. The dead silence is broken as Bobby hears a rustling of paper coming from Lindsay's side.
"What are you doing over there?" He is taken aback as she holds up a bag of peanut M&M's. "You hate those!"
"Not anymore," she grins.
He can't help but grin back. "Along with pickles and ice cream?"
She laughs. "No, and I hope it doesn't come to that." She extends her hand to him. "Want some?"
"No thanks."
"Okay," she sighs, munching on a few pieces, greedily.
"So...how far along are you? I know it's at least a month..."
"Ten weeks. Everything's going fine. I saw a doctor right after I found out."
"When was that?"
"Last week. The night you called," she tells him as-a-matter-of-factly. "I was in the bathroom sick. I went home and took the test."
"Oh," is all he can mutter as he feels like a complete jerk. "Lindsay?" She looks at him. "I'm sorry. It's just -" He pauses. "This whole thing has got me messed up. I can't think straight anymore..."
"I don't get it, Bobby. I mean, you've turned this into something that it's not. I wish you could see the truth and accept it."
"Bec says that you needed to find yourself...experience life for all it can give you. Is that it?"
"Partly," she admits. "But Bobby...I wanted you to be with me. I didn't want to do it alone." She stops, looking down ashamed. "I know I hit you with it all so fast...and it wasn't fair. I guess I thought you would come to understand things in time...a short time, rather. It was wrong of me to leave you like I did that night - without trying harder. I didn't know what to do..."
"Things...make a little more sense to me now," he says softly. "I just hate not being able to see you everyday...hold you...touch you..."
"Bobby," she chokes out his name, in a voice riddled with tears.
"I want you in my life, Lindsay...I love you so much I can't -" He pauses. "I'm out of my mind...I just can't live without you...no matter what. I wish I could...then maybe I could sleep at night."
"I don't want to live without you, Bobby. It hurts too much." Shaking her head, she rises. "I just don't understand why you can't deal with this. It could work - I know it."
"How?"
"Argh!" She walks closer to him. "Why do we even bother? All we ever do is talk in circles!"
"I don't know!" He shouts, standing up. "Do you think I like this?"
"YES! It's your fault! Your doing! Your blasted stubbornness!"
"You're the one who moved away! You're the one who chickened out!"
"NO - that was YOU! You bailed when things got rough. And you wanna know what the saddest part is? It wasn't even that bad! I didn't cheat on you! I didn't leave you!" She screams. "Jesus Christ," she whispers, defeated. "I can't -" Crying hard, her body hits the floor and she buries her face in in her bended knees. "How did this happen?"
Bobby looks down at Lindsay, concerned. Kneeling beside her, he whispers her name, rubbing her knee lightly. "Linds..."
As she lifts her head, something on the floor between them catches her eye. Reaching for the object, she looks at him, curiously. "What's this?"
"No, don't -" he urges, as she begins to open the box.
Words couldn't describe the look on her face. "It's
a ring."